Author’s note: Happy Wednesday, friends! Honestly needed this entry as I have felt a bit disconnected from everything recently due to spiraling into a bit of a comparing myself to everyone I see online. It’s been difficult adjusting to putting myself out there consistently, it’s a whole new type of exposure (if that makes any sense). However, I’m trying to take everything one day at a time as I know I’m doing my best right now especially with having a rough mental health month :(( But, we are okay! I want to be more present again and finding a balance between it all which I am slowly figuring out. I got this! WE GOT THIS! I hope this week treats you well, friends. See you on the next update <3
September 06th, 2025: 7 PM
A topic I’ve gravitated to recently is ‘being present’. Perhaps it’s because I happen to be on that side of TikTok that converses among themselves about trying to enjoy being in solitude more, spending less time on your phone, or your electronics in general. Actually taking the time to get to know yourself, indulge in your hobbies, and increase your knowledge on topics of your choice.
Now, part of me was surprised at first that this wasn’t already something others were taking time to do. Maybe it’s because I’ve spent my entire life getting to know myself, always in my brain. Tossing and turning as I feel my thoughts buzz through me each night. I guess it could also be the deep introvert in me who enjoys spending time alone and needs it to recharge. Well, needs it to survive.
However, I’ve noticed that this is actually a pretty severe issue among people in my age group, or even a bit younger than that.
Everyone has identity issues; it’s common to go through stages where you feel like you don’t know yourself at all and have to reintroduce yourself to a different version of you, or more or less an evolved version.
Due to not being present in their own lives and being more tuned in to others, lines of self-discovery are far more blurred than they have ever been because of social media. This is not to say that I don’t thoroughly enjoy social media myself or hate it. No, no, don’t get it twisted, I do love social media, many aspects of it, but it doesn’t mean I don’t despise other parts of it and how it affects the minds of influential individuals. With constant comparison to how “one should live”, what careers look fun, it affects everyone in some way.
It’s also had that same effect on me.
There have been countless times where I have caught myself longing to do something of what someone in my age range is doing, feeling like I’m behind, that I am a failure because everyone around me seems to be doing the same things…
But I’m not.
For years, it was a constant negative mindset I had that would lead me into a spiral of nothing but self-hatred. I don’t think it was up until 2 years ago, when I realized I needed to work on erasing these trains of thought because all they did was tear me down.
Yet where could I begin on tearing these mindsets down? How could I avoid spiraling after seeing a post of someone achieving something and feeling a twinge of pain deep in my heart? And how would I feel if I worked on completely resetting my perspective on how I consume my social media feeds?
