CL’s Note: It’s August and I am still on the journey of figuring out what rest means to me, what my brain needs, and how I function with it vs without it. What I’ve learned so far is that it is absolutely okay to take breaks, long ones, short ones, however long you need to keep going on something that you want to get done. Rushing yourself will never be the answer as it only affects you negatively in the end. Be kinder to yourselves this week <3 You can do this!
May 4th, 2026: 11:58 AM
Lately, I’ve been thinking about the concept of rest and what it means to truly rest. Growing up, I learned there was no such thing as rest. Being Hispanic, our culture is huge on the act of grinding till you achieve what you want even if you’re exhausted or burnt out to the point where you physically can’t work anymore.
Taking breaks simply doesn’t exist and if you do take a break, you are looked down upon in some way.
You’re seen as lazy because if you’re not doing something, then, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!??? So I learned as a kid to work hard in everything I do, especially academically.
Academics were a passion of mine, learning was everything to me in the way I would genuinely enjoy increasing my knowledge in numerous topics each day. However, there’s a difference between enjoying what you’re learning about and what you’re being forced to learn.
Even being an honors student, I struggled with subjects such as math and science. I had a difficult time wrapping my mind around them and needed additional help but help only goes so far when you need accommodations or take in information differently than the other kids in your class.
I didn’t know how to ask for these things.
I don’t think I even knew up until a certain point in high school that there was more than one way of learning. Little did I know this was my autism showing itself. How was I to know if no one noticed I struggled academically? Sometimes, not even myself.
All I knew was I felt I always worked ten times harder than everyone else at everything around me.
Especially at school where it got to the point I considered it normal. I’m going to tell you right now, THIS IS NOT NORMAL! If you know you are struggling in every aspect of your life when it should supposedly come with more ease, something is wrong. I wish I would have known this growing up.
Jump to the present day, I am dealing with the repercussions of not knowing a lot of things, including how deeply I masked to “function” around everyone and everything. There are days where I struggle to be kinder to myself, more patient, gentler because my brain remembers how I worked before getting diagnosed.
Nowadays, I’ve come to the realization it wasn’t “functioning”, it was merely surviving in a society who resist in accepting neurodivergence and its spectrum.
